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Body-safe silicone is the strongest starting point. It is non-porous, easy to clean and available in a range of textures and firmness levels. Softer silicone tends to feel more forgiving on first use. Glass and stainless steel are excellent options too, but their firmness makes material choice less forgiving if size or shape is not quite right.
Start from your current experience rather than a target. Diameter is generally the more important measurement - work up in small increments and pay attention to how your body responds. If you are aiming for more substantial girth over time, large dildos are a more measured step than going straight to extra large options.
Many dildos are harness-compatible, but check the base before buying. A flat, flared base with a diameter that fits your harness O-ring is what you need. Slim or tapered bases often do not sit securely in a harness, so it is worth confirming compatibility with the specific harness you plan to use.
Realistic dildos are shaped to resemble anatomy - typically with a defined head, veining and a natural taper. Non-realistic styles prioritise sensation, aesthetics or function over anatomical accuracy. Neither is inherently better; it comes down to what kind of stimulation you are looking for and personal preference around feel and appearance.
Wash it before and after every use. Non-motorised silicone, glass and stainless steel toys can be boiled or put through the dishwasher (top rack, no detergent) for a deeper clean. Motorised or battery-powered dildos should be cleaned with warm water and toy cleaner only - submerge them only if the product confirms it is waterproof. Dry fully before storing.